Be’shalach
What happens at the cusp of liberation?
Reflection by Rabbi Dr. James Jacobson-Maisels, Founder & President of Or HaLev:
“Parshat Be’shalach begins with the Israelites setting out from Egypt and camping at Pi-Hachirot, which hyper-literally reads, the mouth, opening, or entrance (pi) to freedom (cherut) (Ex.14:2)…Yet then, `Pharaoh and his courtiers had a change of heart about the people and said, ‘What is this we have done, releasing Israel from our service?’...`And he gave chase to the Israelites` (Ex. 14:5,8).
Perhaps this feels familiar? We work on a pattern, we feel we are developing some freedom around it, and then suddenly it gives chase again. At the cusp of liberation, old patterns return unwilling to relinquish their role, fighting for their place in our system. We are improving in our relationship to anger, anxiety, shame or whatever you are working with, and then something triggers us, and we feel we are once again pursued and overcome, thrust back to our original state of slavery just as we thought we were becoming free.
When we see this, we can despair as the Israelites do when they see the Egyptians coming for them. `Greatly frightened, the Israelites cried out to YHVH. And they said to Moses, `Was it for want of graves in Egypt that you brought us to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us, taking us out of Egypt? Is this not the very thing we told you in Egypt, saying, ‘Let us be, and we will serve the Egyptians, for it is better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness’?` (Ex. 14:10-11).
Do we not do the same at times? Faced with the return of a pattern or our seeming failure to improve, we can become despairing and frustrated, convinced that our work of liberation was an illusion, and a painful and deceptive one at that, and we yearn to return to the false comfort of our old patterns.
Yet, it is bizarre. These are the same Israelites who have seen the ten plagues and the literally awesome power of God. Yet, despite these experiences, when they feel scared, lost and overcome, their faith abandons them. So too we may have seen the concrete power of our practice, we have tasted liberation, yet when we feel we have been abandoned by it, suddenly our confidence in our path can be washed away.
But the answer, the Torah says, is simple. It is, as Alan Lew phrases it, to be still and get going. The Israelites are told `have no fear, stand present and witness Divine salvation.` and `go forward` (Ex. 14:13,15). We stop and abide in presence and witnessing, in the presence of divinity, in something broader and greater than enslaving patterns. We renew our acquaintance with the power that is beyond what seems possible in this small, tight, enslaved stage, the power of liberation. And then we move forward. We leave those patterns. We act because it is ultimately up to us; we must bring our own salvation; we must cross the sea, even if the Divine shows us the way. And then, perhaps, we remember for the next time that Pharaoh’s army returns that there is a way out, that we can dedicate ourselves again to liberation and, though we may have fallen, the path to freedom lies before us.”iches that are within us, and that deep connection to source which is always extending its outstretched hand to us."