Bamidbar
How do we relate to the skipping of our minds?
Reflection by Carrie Watkins, US Community Manager:
“אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא חָבִיב הוּא עָלַי, וְדִגְלוֹ עָלַי אַהֲבָה, וְדִלּוּגוֹ עָלַי אַהֲבָה”
“The Holy Blessed One said, ‘He is beloved to me. His banner is beloved to me, and his skipping is beloved to me’” (Bamidbar Rabba 2:3)
"The book of Bamidbar starts out with another census, a counting of the ranks of each of the tribes, arranged under their banner, their degel. Bamidbar Rabba - a 12th Century Midrashic text - uses intertextual references and wordplay to add color and texture to this image. It quotes Song of Songs, the love story between the Jewish people and God, in which the word degel appears in the context of love, `ודגלו עלי אהבה` diglu alai ahava, meaning, `his banner of love was on me` (2:4). These banners are about love. God at the beginning of the book of Bamidbar, therefore, was lovingly arranging the people of Israel, putting each under their banner, counting each one.
This love was a mutual one. According to this Midrash, earlier, at the receiving of the Torah at Sinai, the Children of Israel saw that God’s ministering angels were arrayed under banners, and said, `if only God would show that same love to us` (2:3). Hearing this, God immediately instructed Moses, `לֵךְ עֲשֵׂה אוֹתָם דְּגָלִים כְּמוֹ שֶׁנִּתְאַוּוּ’ go make them banners, as they desire.
The Midrash then flips two letters in degel to turn it into dilug, skipping. Even someone who skips from law to law and from verse to verse in their learning, it says, God loves. And not just despite the inattention, says the Midrash, `וְדִלּוּגוֹ עָלַי אַהֲבָה` the skipping itself is beloved to God.
Anyone who has spent time in mindfulness meditation has noticed something about how challenging it can be to pay attention. Tune in for even a short amount of time, and we notice this skipping of our minds, the way our attention jumps and flickers. What can come up for many of us when we notice this is judgment. `I’m lousy at this!` is a thought I’ve definitely had in meditation before. This midrash offers us a delight of a way back into practice: the skipping itself is beloved by the Creator. The skipping itself is part of the practice, and it is all love."