Balak
Do we know when it would be better for us to stop?
Reflection by Galit Toledano, Executive Director of Or HaLev:
"One of the significant crises of my life came several years ago when the organization I worked for went through a merger, and I chose to leave. I didn’t see a future for myself in the organization, or anywhere else. It was a time full of tremendous uncertainty, and yet, something also told me that within this crisis lay a hidden opportunity. An inner voice told me, this crisis will bring with it growth and development.
In the story of Balak this week, both Balak, the King of Moab, and Balaam the prophet have difficulty accepting reality. On his way to see, and curse, the Israelites, Balaam’s donkey, seeing an angel with a sword in his hand blocking the path, swerves from the trail. Balaam beats the donkey until she gets back on track. This happens two more times, until God opens the mouth of the donkey and she speaks to Balaam, scolding him for not trusting her.
Balak also rejects reality three times. After Balaam, instead of cursing the Israelites as Balak had commanded him, blesses them, Balak orders Balaam to try again. When he blesses the people again, Balak orders him to curse the people one more time, until Balaam has blessed the people three times. Both Balaam and Balak try to stay on their original path, even in the face of many proofs that the way is blocked.
This is a situation that is easy to identify with. So often, we hear what we want to hear and see what we want to see. In these days of so much brokenness, pain, and loss, it can feel like we are being hit from many sides. How many times do we also continue when it would be better for us to stop? What if instead, we understood that there may be a reason to pause.
And yet, human stubbornness can also lead to blessing. God did not want Balaam to go see the Israelites, but, when Balaam insisted, God told him to go. When the angel blocking the path told Balaam to turn back, Balaam again insisted. Thanks to these actions, the Israelites received three blessings.
According to Masechet Makot (10:25) ‘along the path a person wants to proceed, [God] assists him.` We have the choice, and the power, to choose. Our choices can look like stubbornness or perseverance, fear or courage, hope or despair. The Torah teaches us that the road is not always simple, that the story does not always continue how we expect. Our meditation practice teaches us how to make room for choices, which so often begin with knowing when to stop, when to take a break and allow reality to realign with us.
In our practice, we have the choice to tune into the way we choose to be, to give place to awe, to connection with the Creator. May we choose a way of life that is joy, love, and peace.
In memory of my beloved mother, Nelli Toledano."