Chayei Sarah
What are the two poles that our practice moves between?
Reflection by Or HaLev teacher Moran Peled
"In this week’s parsha, we find the unnamed servant of Avraham embodying faith in a way quite different from the faith we saw in last week’s parsha at the akeida - the binding of Isaac. In the akeida, we encounter Avraham as stalwart and persevering in his determination to fulfill what was commanded of him, trusting without question the voice that asked him to kill his son, while somehow not letting go of the promise that his ancestral line would continue through Isaac. Avraham’s servant, on the other hand, sent by Avraham to Haran to find a wife for Isaac, presents a faith both fragile and dependent. These two types of faith are the two poles that our practice moves between.
The parallels between these two stories are many: Both are a journey. Both concern the life and death of Yitzhak. Both journeys are a test of faith. Both succeed.
Yet the faith of the servant is the mirror image of Avraham's faith. He keeps asking God for signs at every step of the way, for proof that he’s on the right path, saying, `Let the maiden to whom I say, ‘Please, lower your jar that I may drink,’ and who replies, ‘Drink, and I will also water your camels’—let her be the one whom You have decreed for Your servant Isaac. Thereby shall I know that You have dealt graciously with my master.` (Bereshit 24:14).
When we come to our mindfulness and spiritual practice, we want to be like Avraham, to trust the method and practice even in the moments we aren’t seeing results, to believe in our ability to persevere and improve, regardless of the circumstances. However, many times we act as Avraham’s servant – we look for signs and confirmations that we are making progress, that we are trusting in the right places.
By placing the two stories side by side, the Torah hints to us that both conditional and circumstantial belief, and total pure faith, are part of our practice. We need both.
We can strive for totality and full commitment to practice and method, while at the same time being open to what is happening - to using discernment, to taking in our imperfections, fears, doubts and insecurities.
Our practice is first and foremost a practice of faith and containment, yet only through weaving together dependent belief and commitment will we experience and perceive all of it as part of a whole, which is our practice, which is Life..”