Parashat Va’era

reflection by Ariel Dominique Hendelman

"According to Jewish mindfulness teacher, Rabbi Shefa Gold, the stories of the Torah are not occurring in some far off time and place -- they are happening right now, inside each of us. We can ask ourselves, what lessons does the parsha of Va'era have for us this year, in this moment?

 If there is a Moshe and a Pharoah inside of me, then I have two parts with two distinct narratives. My inner Moshe is a reluctant redeemer. Twice in this parsha, in conversation with the Divine about the possibility of being the prophet, who along with his brother, will be the conduit of freedom for Am Yisrael from the bondage of Egypt, Moshe tells God that he has a speech impediment. But Moshe was chosen for this! Certainly, the Infinite One knows about any shortcomings that he may have, and yet still, he has been chosen. There have been times in my life where I felt like my fears and lackings were antithetical to the very path I am on. How could it be? Maybe it's because I am meant to overcome them, to persevere, even though I am not perfect. All I need to be is me.

 Then there is my inner Pharoah, who repeatedly hardens his heart. A plague occurs, and Pharoah's heart temporarily opens, but then once the immediate danger dissipates, his heart hardens again. This leads me to inquire, where has my own heart closed? When, at some point along the way, did I resist that anger, disappointment, or sadness, and can I recognize that it has become immobile energy inside of me? Whenever my heart is closed, I become stuck, not fully feeling my sorrow or my joy, not fully living. This is true enslavement, when what I really long for is freedom.

 May our practice be blessed to reveal a presence that is deep and powerful enough to crack open whatever places in the heart have become calcified, and may that opening lead to a returning to our true, redemptive essence, which is a heart that remains bravely and tenderly open to receive the world just as it is, and to love our selves just as we are."

 Shabbat Shalom from Or HaLev